leaving town

“You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.

And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure, that scientists have measured precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly. Amen.”

— Aaron Freeman, You Want a Physicist to Speak at Your Funeral

how my dad answers the phone. clever man.

of visiting the Amalfi coast during my summers in Italy. We’d either go as a family, or take our guests to see how beautiful the mountains and sea were. I’d always feel car sick winding round the horrendous roads, and dad would deliberately speed up round horrid corners because he thought it was funny. We’d sing naff songs, and stop off at a ‘viewing point’ before we got there, looking out at the most incredible view of the Mediterranean sea. When we got there, we’d always have to go into the antique shops, and look at the engraved oak furniture. The weather was always hot, and muggy and it made us all grouchy by the end of the day, but I think back to those days and smile.  

She was buying her wedding dress, and as i was wrapping it, I asked her about her wedding and if she was excited. It turns out she is already married, but that she is going to be celebrating her marriage next month. The religious ceremony was held in hospital, as her mother was terminally ill with cancer. She made the decision to get married on a whim, because she wanted to make sure her mum could see her start her new life. 3 minutes after she said ‘I do’, her mum died. 

Now if that’s not a story that says ‘live life, and do what makes you happy while you can’, I don’t know what is. I nearly cried.

open books, not legs

blow minds, not guys

..most of the time.

..no class.

and that’s what makes me smile about the whole sad story of my breakup.